A long time ago (well, ten years ago, maybe), in a galaxy far, far away (actually, in the infancy of what has become The Internet), a rag-tag group of programmers birthed the first widely-used web browser, called Mosaic. Mosaic begat Netscape, which the first intrepid web surfers used to “seek out new worlds and new civilizations”.

Soon it became evident that there was great wealth to be acquired in the new digital frontier. From the Northwest Quadrant came MS Empire, with its own browser, made in its own image. They called it “Internet Explorer”.

Computer users soon discovered that “Internet Exploder”, as it came to be called, was designed to do the digital equivalent of attaching itself to your face, snaking an “ovopositor” down your throat, and laying eggs. Once attached, it couldn’t be severed from the system.

Several expeditions, including a tribunal from “The Federation”, tried to contain “Internet Exploiter”, but the battle was already won. Netscape users were relegated to second-class-citizen status, shuttled off to outlying colonies like AOL. On many such outposts, a “next generation” of original Netscape insurgents and others quietly and innovatively prepared for a day when, as The Profits foretold, there would be a Second Coming of the browser.

They called themselves by their tribal names – Mozilla, Firefox, Safari, Opera, OmniWeb. Unlike Internet Explorer (which was then known only as “IE”), the new browsers were written in a “universal language”, a “standard” used by the programmers to provide the same experience for every viewer.

Just as The Profits had foreseen, MS Empire’s eggs began to hatch, and the Empire showed signs of weakness. It wasn’t pretty. Rebels from around the galaxy launched raids on the Empire. Their small ships entered through the many holes in IE, and made life miserable for the enslaved multitudes. The Empire remade and renamed itself several times, each time claiming to have closed the holes and squashed the rebels. But for the most part, they were just putting a new coat of paint on a rusted-out old car.

Special agents, called Service Packs, were dispatched by the Empire to keep the citizenry in lock step. First SP1, then SP2. Sadly, the Rebels were waiting and the Service Packs were defeated – some before they even made it to the front lines.

Refugees who had their entire systems ruined by the Rebels began hearing whispers that the rumored “alternative browsers” were ready for prime time. Will the reemergence of the browser really happen? Or, will the iron fist of the Empire close upon the throats of the upstarts? Only time will tell.

Back to “reality”. Are you weary of security holes, pop-up windows, spyware, adware, slow rendering, instability, and proprietary coding? Are you yearning for innovative features either ignored or abandoned by the MS Empire? No worries. You have a choice, and more and more computer users are considering a different browser.

I know, I know, change is difficult. There’s an old saying about “The Devil You Know”. In other words, your Internet Exploder may be the “port of entry” for all kinds of maladies, but it’s the only “port of entry” you know. It doesn’t have to be that way. You have a choice. Next time I’m going into detail on some really great alternative browsers. Oh, and did I mention they’re FREE?

Let’s dispel some myths. You won’t lose your bookmarks/favorites. Worried that your sites won’t recognize you any more? Not a problem. Will you find some sites that you can’t see correctly? Possibly, but not as many as you think. More next week!

© 2004 Peter F. Zimowski